July 28 Lesson "Marriage: Watch and Learn"

Jessica Lewis gave the lesson on "Marriage: Watch and Learn." by Elder L. Whitney Clayton. He told of a visit to his daughter's family. After dinner one granddaughter realized she had his full attention and said, "Grandpa, watch and learn." This lesson is for all of us, whether we are married or not so we can help to strengthen each others' marriages. Jessica asked what we have seen that strengthens marriage. Sister Joan Jensen said that being Christ-centered is a good foundation. Learning about ourselves and being willing to repent is important. Another sister said we need to ask, What can I do to make myself better. Elder Clayton said that humility is necessary to change. Then we treat others with kindness and have integrity in our dealings because of our divine nature. Elder Clayton said that marriage means we are marriage partners who treat each others in respectful ways. We need an element of fun in the marriage as we find things that we enjoy doing together, so when we are retired we can be in a place where we get along together. The importance of a date night is very important so we can be a couple. Another sister said it is important to say we are sorry and not hold grudges. Sometimes it is hard and we don't want to. Jessica said, "You have to decide if you want to be right or have a marriage." One sister said, "My mother said that if you are wrong admit it, if you are right forget it." We discussed being equally yolked and how to develop that "yokedness."It takes concern, respect, and love. Learn to love what your spouse loves. So what if our likes and dislikes became the same? That would contribute to the "yokedness." Elder Clayton said that marriages should be based on cooperation, shared duties, and make decisions together and retire together. Claudia Laycock said that the marriage is the most important thing she has learned from being a judge. She said the opposite of love is selfishness and the venom that comes from a divorce can damage the kids and partners and she often has to order therapy. Sister Hickman said that people who are friends should be willing to work to help their friends marriages and sometimes it takes drastic measures by encouraging them to work on their marriage. Be careful about what you say about your spouse so your family and friends don't carry the weight of bad behavior and treat them badly. People who treasure their marriages work on their relationships by showing love and building our partners up. Sister Bahr said we need to remember our temple covenants. The most important thing is for us to be together and honor the promises we make.We also need to be happy first and not expect the other to make you happy. We need to change ourselves first and not have expectations for our spouses that maybe they don't have the ability to do. We have to understand that people will want to change if they are in a safe and loved place. We need to show gratitude for what they do for us and how they honor their priesthood.