Lesson for June 4, 2017

Today our lesson was given by Andrea Gerber of our Relief Society presidency. The lesson is on forgiveness. Andrea started by saying that she has been thrust into a master class on forgiveness. She set some base rules about what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not accepting people who has harmed them. It does not require us to ignore the wrong we see, but we must not treat others in anger. Forgiveness is not necessarily reconciliation. It doesn't mean rationalizing bad behavior. It doesn't mean that trust is restored automatically. Some things don't require restoring trust in any situation. When Andrea moved into the ward, some ugly accusations were made against them and they ended up in court. She had never had anyone try to harm her before. All the rules she knew suddenly were not working anymore. The judge saw through the accuser's claim and declared Andrea and her husband were innocent. During this situation, she felt close to the Lord and it was sweet. She felt humbled by her situation She contrasts that what she felt as she developed a sense of anger and self-righteousness and that was harder than being sued. Joseph B. Wirthlin spoke about the law of compensation: It may not come right away, but every tear will be recompensed. Andrea found that taking revenge could heal what happened to her heart. She had to turn to the Lord. The law of compensation is key. In Isiaiah 6:3 he says that Christ will give beauty for ashes. In Luke 6:38 it says give and it shall be given to you, for with the same measure you use will be given to you. She used an analogy of buying rice in a market and the seller won't shake the basket to give you more when it settles, but the Lord will let the rice settle, fill your basket again, and let it run over it's so full. President Uchtdorf says that means we should have kindness. Some sisters told of times when they have been healed and compensated. Emily Campbell told of losing one daughter three years ago and how it was the worst. She said that her other daughter has the same disease and is getting worse, so her experience is a holy and a sacred thing. She feels like her experience happened for a reason. Several sisters went through hard experiences in divorce and yet they feel like they have been compensated and have closer relationships with their current husbands. Andrea told about her little brother who has Down Syndrome and autism and what a blessing he is. Sometimes the compensation is not being trapped like some are by bad experiences. Hopefully the joy of living better is compensation. Maggie Kopp said that our culture needs outrage right now. Sometimes this outrage makes us do good things, like MADD or something like that. But moving beyond being outraged is the better course. If you're always campaigning against something is not as good as campaigning for something. Campaigning against can develop into a form of pride. If you can pray for someone, you can perhaps move beyond that bad experience. At one point Andrea felt it was unsafe to forgive. When someone hurts us, they have stolen from us. She feels like it makes little holes in her soul. What she fills those holes with are things like hurt and anger and the memory of that experience. So she felt like should remember to have something to keep. We have to give up those things to allow the Lord to fill our holes with love and more than we had before. One sister said she had an unjust bill, but as soon as she paid it, it was no longer in her life. Ask yourself if you are enjoying victimhood. You get to feel sorry for yourself. We're talking about score keeping. In a marriage, keeping score is harmful to a marriage and to a life. The gospel doesn't allow us to keep score. We can allow the Lord to have things under control and take care of the situation Then He can fill our souls with light and love. Open your heart. Soften your heart. As we open our hearts to the glowing dawn of the gospel the dark of anger and revenge disappears. We can pray for people. If you can pray for someone you can feel love in your heart. It's important to remember that everyone is suffering. We should never project our anger onto anyone else. Andrea says she believes in the power of prayer and doesn't want karma to not happen, but you should pray that that they get what they need to become a different kind of person. Sometimes you need help from the Lord to take it as far as it should go. He gives us the love to forgive. Turning to the Lord can heal us. Fill our days with uplifting church programs and scriptures and service and our healing can begin. The Lord's conditions are that we forgive other so He can forgive us. The commandment to forgive is for our good. You don't have to be a Victim twice by being victimized by your own hate.