Lesson for March 4, 2018

Today our lesson was given by Andrea Gerber on “Strategies for Better Relationships.” Andrea is a counselor in the Relief Scoiety Presidency. Andrea started by giving handouts about better relationships. She said one of her hobbies is studying audio books about relationships. We need strategies based in gospel principles so we know what to do. The Marriage and Family Relations Manual. Andrea talked about being a “content communicator.” A lot of us are hint droppers rather than communicators. It means meaning what you say and saying what you mean. Find a kind and tactful way to say what you mean. Otherwise you are not being fair and you are setting yourselves up for frustration. No one is going to fulfill all our expectations in life, so don’t expect someone to read your mind. Stop withholding praise. Perhaps the other person didn’t do a perfect job. Joseph Smith said that if we withhold praise we can’t expect improvement. If you praise the good the other person is going to gravitate toward the good. Notice the good. Saying why something needs to be done, it helps the other person understand the true need. When we have built up resentment toward someone we will need to be worked on even harder. Especially in a marriage, there is a language of equals when you don’t tell people what to do, but you ask with respect. That kind of language is what we should use. Soften how you start a conversation where there is a disagreement. You need to step back and soften how you talk to the other person. 1. Be a content communicator 2. Stop withholding praise 3. Use a language of equals 4. Soften your “startup” in disagreements 5. Complain but don’t criticize 6. Remember the 5:1 positive/negative ratio 7. Edit Yourself 8. Be consistent We broke into small groups and talked about these principles. We discussed some successful tips on how to handle difficult situations. We wondered if we have trouble knowing why we’re upset. If we don’t communicate well, our people won’t know. We also need to be clear about reasonable expectations. using praise and hugs can be major motivations. We can express gratitude for what they do right. Praying together can be a form of communication. To wrap up we went over some quotes, suc as “Keep your heart in wonder of the daily miracle that is your partner, family, and friends.” The Holy Ghost is our best teacher.