Lesson for June18, 2017

Today our lesson was given by Camille Maynard about Chapter 11 of the Teachings of Gordon B Hinckley, Chapter 11 "Home--The Basis o Righteous Life." Camille started by telling about President Hinckley and the Proclamation on the Family. There is a story about their home where their children grew up and how sad they were when they decided to move closer to Church headquarters He called the Proclamation asa a clarion call to strengthen the family and home. We all want to have strong homes. Camping together can strengthen a family. Family dinners can help families to bond. Extended family dinners are important to because everyone needs good relationships and people they can lean on. Prayers for each other can strengthen bonds. Going through hard times together can give a bonding experience. Having some available time together is important for feelings of closeness. Even if you have a very healthy family, investing in the one you love the most makes a big difference. Family councils helps a family to counsel together and to plan the year for the family. Family council can give children a voice We have to know and have to plan so time is apparent to us when we can spend time together. We want to be part of our grown children's lives, so social media can be a good way to stay in touch. President Hinckley said a home is the basis for a righteous life where we teach gospel principles. We can love our wayward family members and bless them through our examples and love. Family Home Evening, scripture study, and temple attendance, and even church pageants can help the family to be stronger. Church pageants are a way to be immersed in the gospel. Starting the day with a family devotional can help gospel principles be normalized. The roles of fathers and mothers are in viewing children as gifts of the Lord an a residue of affection that will guide love and respect for each other and for their parents. Single parents can allow leaders in the church or friends in the church to help their family. Never forget that Heavenly Father is there for us. He ways He will come to us even though we cannot go to Him. President Hinckley said he built his first home and the landscaping. He planted a honey locust tree right where the wind blew. When it grew, it grew in the direction of the wind. He tried to correct the tree by cutting off a branch that leaned too far, which was a drastic remedy. Remember to train up a child when he is young and when he is old he will have grown the right way. It doesn't take as much effort when children are young as it will when they are grown. One sister said that one-on-one outings with parents can help children know they want to be good, go on a mission, go to the temple, and other good things. It does take time. Having expectations can also be good. These expectations can be useful to guide children. They can be something to talk about between family members. Play and pray for your little ones. They are growing up in complex times that will require a greater strength than we have to have now. Pray that they will have that source of strength that will sustain them in any situation. Family prayer can be opportunities to express love for each other and be a special time to express gratitude for each of them. Saying nice things about other family members can bring a glow to their faces. Be careful not to be too critical. Help our children to know why we are grateful for the gospel and each other and help to strengthen their testimonies. President Hinckley said that when he was 5 years old, President Smith started Family Home Evenings. His family tried to do what President Smith wanted and even though their efforts were funny sometimes, something wonderful grew out of their efforts. Many times a FHE can be an opportunity to discuss gospel principles that are confusing. Sometimes FHE gives us a break from the world and can be a relief from stress If you have any doubt about FHE, try it for a while. Not every evening will be successful, but continuous efforts will bear fruit. Even if there are members who go astray. Keep at it. Never give up. Pray for them and love them and never give up. If we have those relationships in place, we could be non-judgmental so they want to be close to us. We can't take away someone else's free agency. If we have that relationship, then there may be times when we can offer some gentle comments. Raising a family may not be the easiest, but love can make the difference. With mastery over anger and Heaven's help we can be patient and encourage our family

Lesson for June 11, 2017

Today our lesson was given by Maggie Kopp on "Nurturing the Eternal Partnership of Marriage." She said marriage lessons are not her favorite because there are issues that hit close to home. President Hinckley said the early years were not that hard but he did learn that there has to be a little give and take. He said to lose a long-time companion is very hard but he has the assurance that death is not the end and as surely there is a separation, there is eternity. He also said of his wife that she had always given him wings to fly and he has loved his wife for it. It is important let each other grow. Some sisters commented on the need to compromise and not to think you will change the other person. What is so good about President Hinckley and his wife Camille is that they acknowledge that there are problems, but they are so supportive of each other. Some of the things we need to take into consideration are unselfishness, supporting each other, . We do believe that our marriages will continue after death. It's a big deal to be sealed to each other and continue that relationship after death. Having divorce in the mix is scary. If you both continue and stay committed to the Lord. One sister thought she would never get married and had a hard time hearing about marriage, but she learned that even if she had those expectations, she learned that those good qualities can affect your relationship with every relationship you have. She said when she did meet her husband and he eventually wanted to go to the temple, it changed him and their relationship. Once they did get sealed, that mantle came onto their marriage and it was such a blessing. The deeper meaning of a Temple marriage can bring a closeness. In the marriage companionship there is no superiority, but a partnership of equals and each encouraging each other. If you're speaking to your spouse of should or ought, then you have a parent/child relationship and not a marriage. Do the job that needs to be done, even though some people do things differently from you. It's important to know why someone does something so you can come to an understanding. Resolving conflict is important. Contention comes easily and we need to know who we are and who our loved ones are. Lack of commmunication can lead to misunderstandings. A competitive spirit Differing cultural values. All these things need to be discussed and worked out. We can be a lot like our spouse but the family cultures from the families we come from can be very different. You are trying to mesh two different things to make your own cultural family unit. It is good to identify things to work on. The Holy Ghost can have a huge influence on your marriage if you are both trying to stay close to the Holy Ghost. If every husband or wife is doing what is necessary to make the other spouse comfortable, most problems will disintegrate. It goes back to being flexible and not seeking an argument. Not expecting our spouse to read our minds. As women, we're very hormonal, so we need to understand when our physical condition makes us more combustible. Ask yourself if there are things that are making you or your spouse grouchy. There must be respect for the wants and needs of each other. It all falls back on selflessness. If you make the effort for your spouse to accomplish or grow in talents, then you will grow closer. Marriage teaches you to be humbled and broken and formed into a different person. How do you balance that support so you don't feel burdened. It helps to be loving to them first and then their hearts will be softened. We shouldn't count instances or saying what is fair or not. Sometimes a role has to change to help the couple work things out. God loves us no matter who we are.

Lesson for June 4, 2017

Today our lesson was given by Andrea Gerber of our Relief Society presidency. The lesson is on forgiveness. Andrea started by saying that she has been thrust into a master class on forgiveness. She set some base rules about what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not accepting people who has harmed them. It does not require us to ignore the wrong we see, but we must not treat others in anger. Forgiveness is not necessarily reconciliation. It doesn't mean rationalizing bad behavior. It doesn't mean that trust is restored automatically. Some things don't require restoring trust in any situation. When Andrea moved into the ward, some ugly accusations were made against them and they ended up in court. She had never had anyone try to harm her before. All the rules she knew suddenly were not working anymore. The judge saw through the accuser's claim and declared Andrea and her husband were innocent. During this situation, she felt close to the Lord and it was sweet. She felt humbled by her situation She contrasts that what she felt as she developed a sense of anger and self-righteousness and that was harder than being sued. Joseph B. Wirthlin spoke about the law of compensation: It may not come right away, but every tear will be recompensed. Andrea found that taking revenge could heal what happened to her heart. She had to turn to the Lord. The law of compensation is key. In Isiaiah 6:3 he says that Christ will give beauty for ashes. In Luke 6:38 it says give and it shall be given to you, for with the same measure you use will be given to you. She used an analogy of buying rice in a market and the seller won't shake the basket to give you more when it settles, but the Lord will let the rice settle, fill your basket again, and let it run over it's so full. President Uchtdorf says that means we should have kindness. Some sisters told of times when they have been healed and compensated. Emily Campbell told of losing one daughter three years ago and how it was the worst. She said that her other daughter has the same disease and is getting worse, so her experience is a holy and a sacred thing. She feels like her experience happened for a reason. Several sisters went through hard experiences in divorce and yet they feel like they have been compensated and have closer relationships with their current husbands. Andrea told about her little brother who has Down Syndrome and autism and what a blessing he is. Sometimes the compensation is not being trapped like some are by bad experiences. Hopefully the joy of living better is compensation. Maggie Kopp said that our culture needs outrage right now. Sometimes this outrage makes us do good things, like MADD or something like that. But moving beyond being outraged is the better course. If you're always campaigning against something is not as good as campaigning for something. Campaigning against can develop into a form of pride. If you can pray for someone, you can perhaps move beyond that bad experience. At one point Andrea felt it was unsafe to forgive. When someone hurts us, they have stolen from us. She feels like it makes little holes in her soul. What she fills those holes with are things like hurt and anger and the memory of that experience. So she felt like should remember to have something to keep. We have to give up those things to allow the Lord to fill our holes with love and more than we had before. One sister said she had an unjust bill, but as soon as she paid it, it was no longer in her life. Ask yourself if you are enjoying victimhood. You get to feel sorry for yourself. We're talking about score keeping. In a marriage, keeping score is harmful to a marriage and to a life. The gospel doesn't allow us to keep score. We can allow the Lord to have things under control and take care of the situation Then He can fill our souls with light and love. Open your heart. Soften your heart. As we open our hearts to the glowing dawn of the gospel the dark of anger and revenge disappears. We can pray for people. If you can pray for someone you can feel love in your heart. It's important to remember that everyone is suffering. We should never project our anger onto anyone else. Andrea says she believes in the power of prayer and doesn't want karma to not happen, but you should pray that that they get what they need to become a different kind of person. Sometimes you need help from the Lord to take it as far as it should go. He gives us the love to forgive. Turning to the Lord can heal us. Fill our days with uplifting church programs and scriptures and service and our healing can begin. The Lord's conditions are that we forgive other so He can forgive us. The commandment to forgive is for our good. You don't have to be a Victim twice by being victimized by your own hate.