Lesson for June 11, 2017

Today our lesson was given by Maggie Kopp on "Nurturing the Eternal Partnership of Marriage." She said marriage lessons are not her favorite because there are issues that hit close to home. President Hinckley said the early years were not that hard but he did learn that there has to be a little give and take. He said to lose a long-time companion is very hard but he has the assurance that death is not the end and as surely there is a separation, there is eternity. He also said of his wife that she had always given him wings to fly and he has loved his wife for it. It is important let each other grow. Some sisters commented on the need to compromise and not to think you will change the other person. What is so good about President Hinckley and his wife Camille is that they acknowledge that there are problems, but they are so supportive of each other. Some of the things we need to take into consideration are unselfishness, supporting each other, . We do believe that our marriages will continue after death. It's a big deal to be sealed to each other and continue that relationship after death. Having divorce in the mix is scary. If you both continue and stay committed to the Lord. One sister thought she would never get married and had a hard time hearing about marriage, but she learned that even if she had those expectations, she learned that those good qualities can affect your relationship with every relationship you have. She said when she did meet her husband and he eventually wanted to go to the temple, it changed him and their relationship. Once they did get sealed, that mantle came onto their marriage and it was such a blessing. The deeper meaning of a Temple marriage can bring a closeness. In the marriage companionship there is no superiority, but a partnership of equals and each encouraging each other. If you're speaking to your spouse of should or ought, then you have a parent/child relationship and not a marriage. Do the job that needs to be done, even though some people do things differently from you. It's important to know why someone does something so you can come to an understanding. Resolving conflict is important. Contention comes easily and we need to know who we are and who our loved ones are. Lack of commmunication can lead to misunderstandings. A competitive spirit Differing cultural values. All these things need to be discussed and worked out. We can be a lot like our spouse but the family cultures from the families we come from can be very different. You are trying to mesh two different things to make your own cultural family unit. It is good to identify things to work on. The Holy Ghost can have a huge influence on your marriage if you are both trying to stay close to the Holy Ghost. If every husband or wife is doing what is necessary to make the other spouse comfortable, most problems will disintegrate. It goes back to being flexible and not seeking an argument. Not expecting our spouse to read our minds. As women, we're very hormonal, so we need to understand when our physical condition makes us more combustible. Ask yourself if there are things that are making you or your spouse grouchy. There must be respect for the wants and needs of each other. It all falls back on selflessness. If you make the effort for your spouse to accomplish or grow in talents, then you will grow closer. Marriage teaches you to be humbled and broken and formed into a different person. How do you balance that support so you don't feel burdened. It helps to be loving to them first and then their hearts will be softened. We shouldn't count instances or saying what is fair or not. Sometimes a role has to change to help the couple work things out. God loves us no matter who we are.